My dreams…

What do they mean???!

Reconciliation maybe. Hmmm

With a fine tooth comb

I weed out all the “naps”

I find myself to be so dramatic

But if its genuine is it drama?
Shit is real, what I be feelin…

Last nights dream

Proved that I had you’re in my thoughts for real. My thoughts were interrupting my sleep, and disrupting my heart beat, they even seeped in between my thighs ran up my spine and kissed my neck.

Tonight… You are my mission

My mission impossible
Still a mission, nonetheless.

I cant stop smiling…

There is no place I’d rather be
Than laying right here
Having you here with me

There is no one I’d rather see
Than your scrundgy face
When you lose at spades to me

There is no one that I’d rather feel
Than the space between me and you
And the fact that you so far away but I still feel it
Lets me know its real

Ambiguity…

I hate it

And in this moment

Sadness takes over my entirety. I’m barely awake before I open my eyes and stumble out of my bed and to my surprise without hesitation, I fall deeply into depressions arms.

Swift on feet, quick with resilience is what I find in my core. Flexibility is me.
And Im not “me” right now.

Reflection is a necessity.

I take some time to think things through. The unwelcomed fears that slip into my night sleep, rapid changes in my emotions, some important others I want to be important. I continue to sort through. Hesitance about what I want to focus my time on. My time that I don’t have much of.

Time here in this place that I have known for so long is almost up. Time feels so unforgiving. Maybe I’m crunching. Maybe I know some things will never be the same.
And I might not Really be ok with that.

In my dreams there are people. Some I’ve rejected, some who have rejected me, co-workers, nameless faces of students from 5 years ago.

All of these things represent change-transition-

And I’m not doing well at this.
I’m surprised.

Woke up

Feeling so much anxiety.

There is so much comfort here… 😍